The body holds memories. The body holds spirits.
The Earth body. The human body.
My body. Your body.
Can we be present with and appreciate the stories we’ve held? There is darkness and pain, there is light and beauty, there is pleasure that we have not been allowing ourselves to feel.
When I sit with how I am to serve the world today, I first noticed what seemed to be tension. Instead of labeling it as such and trying to fix, figure out, or change it, I simply sat with it.
I followed the sensation - listening, allowing. Unfolding. Welcoming. It opened into pleasure. Instead of something I wanted to hide, I realized it wanted to be seen.
Our bodies are holy. Our pleasure is holy. Sacred. Alive. Welcoming of all. Brilliant.
Worthy of honoring, respect.
Connected to the Divine. Worthy of life.
My connection to Holy and Divine is a journey. My connection to pleasure is a journey. It is still unfolding, clarifying. I have held the weight of my lineage, at least partially connected to the Catholic church, which feels clouded with judgements of right and wrong. When I talk about holy and divine now, I long to find definitions that connect me to you in understanding and clarity, in a way we can relate to each other. I have judgements of the Catholic church and wish to separate my experiences of holy and divine from religious contexts that have felt stifling.
I have a desire to welcome my pleasure fully, making space for it, because it is true aliveness and beauty. I have a desire to be fully present with my experience, not looking for outside validation for my safety or worthiness, but to know my worthiness inherently. To know that I am holy and divine. To feel that in my body.
As I sit with that in my body, pleasure opens up where pain and tension has been held. I open to being seen more fully. I open to moving my body in ways it has felt stuck. The journey continues. There is still pain and tension as I write, but there is also more pleasure, hope, and capacity to be with.
I do body work. To connect you to your body. You to me. You to God. You to your pleasure. To your life force. To your joy. To others around you. To Earth. To Love. To Wholeness.
This post was inspired by a song that was stuck in my head:
"You and I
drink this water,
You and I
breathe this air,
You and I
walk this holy ground,
You and I
Song by Laurence Cole, based on the words by Winona LaDuke, taught to me by song leader Yuri.
As songs get stuck in my head these days, I listen, inquire, and follow the threads. They have messages to tell. What messages are you listening to?
Aliveness. Connection. Beauty. Truth.
What I live for. What I heal for. What I dance for.
Growing up, I numbed out.
A little context of my childhood: My parents fought, had a miscarriage when I was young that was emotionally traumatizing, moved a lot, and divorced when I was 8. At the time, I thought I was ok. It wasn't until I started crying in my early 30's when simply learning about the nervous system freeze response that I realized I had not been ok. My truth was hiding.
In the Reichian character structures, I'm a schizoid, which is one who withdraws and fragments under stress, as I learned in Shamanic De-armoring.
Now whenever there is stress at home, mainly conflict between housemates, I want to move. Realizing this is a pattern of mine, and recognizing it's relevance to the schizoid type, has me want to find the harmony, grounding, safety, resource, and clarity within me.
It has me want to commit to staying where I am at least for a set length of time. It has me want to create harmony in all the ways I know how to do: create beauty in and around the house, commune with the land I live on, build trust, friendship and coherence with housemates, lean in to edges of discomfort lovingly and spaciously, and facilitate offerings that help build community in my home and beyond, and that help grow my capacity to be with more of life, so that I can ground and truly enjoy all that life has to offer me. So I don't have to bail when conflict arises, but I can sway like the trees and adjust as needed, continuing to grow.
Does any of this resonate with you? Would you like support? Click here to book a consultation call or session.
How can you touch someone with finesse, skill and attunement in a way that is unattached to outcome, listening to both your needs and theirs, following the flow of what wants to happen? This is not a lesson in techniques, but how to be present with yourself and another so that your body can meet theirs harmoniously.
On one level, it's super simple - you just do it.
However, we're complex creatures.
I'll speak for myself...
I want to be attuned to, deeply heard and seen. I want the person touching me to release what they think they know and to actually listen to my body, my energy, my words, my breath, my soul AND theirs. If they are not aware of what's happening for them and they're focused solely on me, something is missing.
What is attunement?
Speak to me, make contact with me in a way that has my body, mind and energy soften and clarify in your presence. When we are attuned, my body trusts your touch the moment you come into contact with me, and where you come into contact with me is not necessarily physical touch first. Here in this moment as you're reading, you are coming in to contact with my words, my thoughts, my energy field. The energy field spans distances and time.
Attunement is finding resonance where your body and mine meet. It's finding harmony between us.
Attunement is how a mother knows exactly what her baby requires, and giving it to them in a way that they can fully receive it. Attunement is not assuming you know what someone else needs based on past experiences, but being present with the being you are with in the moment, who may be different than how they showed up 10 seconds ago.
A guitar will need different tuning in dry and humid conditions. A living human is far more complex than a guitar. They may desire completely different contact now than you gave them 2 days ago, or different than you would like to receive yourself.
HOW do we attune to our partners?
First, know yourself. Become so purely present with yourself in this moment.
As I type this now, I feel tingly in the back of my head, tension in my jaw and teeth, distrust of people who may read this (I have a story that the more strangers know about me, the more they'll take advantage of me, in a way that takes and doesn't give), awareness of sounds around me - the dryer running, neighbors upstairs - my sleepy eyes, the ticking clock, the habit of my energy coming forward, then recalibrating and finding where my energy wants to be - naturally sinking in to my belly as I allow it.
What's the point of noticing and naming all of this? Why does any of this matter?
Because as I write, as I notice everything in my experience, I soften, settle, and relax. My energy expands. The pressure in my head releases.
How does it relate to attunement to a partner?
If I'm holding tension, or on edge, or not present and aware in my body, then some part of the person I'm coming in to contact with is aware of that, whether they are conscious of it or not. Their body, or their energy, or their subconscious knows. And the better that I can attune to myself, to become aware of my present state and to give myself what I need, I will be better equipped to make contact with another being in a way that is clear and mutually supportive in a clean, unattached way. If I were disregulated and not aware of it, not owning it, and then offering supportive contact to someone, I may actually be receiving more benefit by touching them than they are receiving from me. I may actually be subconsciously taking. This can create an energy imbalance - an unconscious way to pull energy. The more that I as a support person am aware of my experience, and am grounded, centered, and owning my experience, the more I can offer neutral, attuned, supportive contact.
From a place of self-awareness and finding right relationship with another person - that is, what physically and energetically feels clear and easeful between the two of you - then touch can come more naturally. Techniques can be taught, but they aren't the first skill.
Reach out to me if you'd like some guidance on how to touch, and how to attune to yourself and another. Sessions are available in person in Asheville, NC, Boulder, CO and online.
I'm Erin Casey, and I touch people. With my hands, with my presence, with contact - physical and energetic. With my art, with my awareness, kindness, ferocity, grace, humor, humility, humanness. I create Source-guided art: intuitive, abstract, bringing the unseen to light. I follow the energy, follow what feels right. Sometimes it's messy and awkward, but often it's beautiful and moving.
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