The body holds memories. The body holds spirits.

The Earth body. The human body.

My body. Your body.

Can we be present with and appreciate the stories we’ve held? There is darkness and pain, there is light and beauty, there is pleasure that we have not been allowing ourselves to feel.

When I sit with how I am to serve the world today, I first noticed what seemed to be tension. Instead of labeling it as such and trying to fix, figure out, or change it, I simply sat with it.

Presence.

I followed the sensation - listening, allowing. Unfolding. Welcoming. It opened into pleasure. Instead of something I wanted to hide, I realized it wanted to be seen.

Our bodies are holy. Our pleasure is holy. Sacred. Alive. Welcoming of all. Brilliant.

Worthy of honoring, respect.

Connected to the Divine. Worthy of life.

My connection to Holy and Divine is a journey. My connection to pleasure is a journey. It is still unfolding, clarifying. I have held the weight of my lineage, at least partially connected to the Catholic church, which feels clouded with judgements of right and wrong. When I talk about holy and divine now, I long to find definitions that connect me to you in understanding and clarity, in a way we can relate to each other. I have judgements of the Catholic church and wish to separate my experiences of holy and divine from religious contexts that have felt stifling.

I have a desire to welcome my pleasure fully, making space for it, because it is true aliveness and beauty. I have a desire to be fully present with my experience, not looking for outside validation for my safety or worthiness, but to know my worthiness inherently. To know that I am holy and divine. To feel that in my body.

As I sit with that in my body, pleasure opens up where pain and tension has been held. I open to being seen more fully. I open to moving my body in ways it has felt stuck. The journey continues. There is still pain and tension as I write, but there is also more pleasure, hope, and capacity to be with.

I do body work. To connect you to your body. You to me. You to God. You to your pleasure. To your life force. To your joy. To others around you. To Earth. To Love. To Wholeness.
~
This post was inspired by a song that was stuck in my head:

"You and I
drink this water,
You and I
breathe this air,
You and I
walk this holy ground,
You and I
live here."

Song by Laurence Cole, based on the words by Winona LaDuke, taught to me by song leader Yuri.

As songs get stuck in my head these days, I listen, inquire, and follow the threads. They have messages to tell. What messages are you listening to?

Aliveness. Connection. Beauty. Truth.

What I live for. What I heal for. What I dance for.

Growing up, I numbed out.

A little context of my childhood: My parents fought, had a miscarriage when I was young that was emotionally traumatizing, moved a lot, and divorced when I was 8. At the time, I thought I was ok. It wasn't until I started crying in my early 30's when simply learning about the nervous system freeze response that I realized I had not been ok. My truth was hiding.

In the Reichian character structures, I'm a schizoid, which is one who withdraws and fragments under stress, as I learned in Shamanic De-armoring.

Now whenever there is stress at home, mainly conflict between housemates, I want to move. Realizing this is a pattern of mine, and recognizing it's relevance to the schizoid type, has me want to find the harmony, grounding, safety, resource, and clarity within me.

It has me want to commit to staying where I am at least for a set length of time. It has me want to create harmony in all the ways I know how to do: create beauty in and around the house, commune with the land I live on, build trust, friendship and coherence with housemates, lean in to edges of discomfort lovingly and spaciously, and facilitate offerings that help build community in my home and beyond, and that help grow my capacity to be with more of life, so that I can ground and truly enjoy all that life has to offer me. So I don't have to bail when conflict arises, but I can sway like the trees and adjust as needed, continuing to grow.

Does any of this resonate with you? Would you like support? Click here to book a consultation call or session.

​Who are you, and what do you most desire?

I desire Freedom.

Freedom to express myself fully, and to be fully alive.

To be, and to express, in alignment with my Soul.

That's all.

Simple, eh? With a long, complicated, challenging journey to access that after lifetimes of trauma (ancestral and past lives).

What wants to come through me is pure life force energy, and the way that it comes through me is odd to some people, including myself at times. Orgastic energy flows through me and I speak in tongues that I don't understand - this is the most recent and unusual expression, so it's been the most uncomfortable one recently. Paintings come out of me that are beautiful and have an impact on people - this is a fairly easy way for me to allow expression. My body moves with ease and vibrancy on the dance floor in a way that some people would think I'm on drugs (I'm not). In the right context, this is also an easy way to express, and one that brings me great joy and clarity.

I guess in the right context, when a safe container is created, I can allow any expression through me. So what is required to create a safe container?

What sort of container do you require to allow your true self and desires to come through?

In a way, I'm creating a container of safety for myself through this very post. I do not experience this online field to be inherently safe. I do believe there is inherent safety within us, as there is inherent health in everything. What is required within me to find safety? It's a quality of grounding. Grounding into my knowing, into pure Universal energy, into Soul truth.

What do I truly desire?

I desire to turn you on - Soulfully alive. So fully alive, aligned with Soul.

I desire more playmates. People who will be radically honest with me, and be with me in the discomfort when trigger is present, recognizing where they're at and willing to contact something more true. Willing to be with the unknown, and with discomfort. Willing to feel more pleasure, more joy, more aliveness, more beauty. Willing to respect and honor the pain and move with it, and through it.

I desire playmates who will celebrate me in my bigness, and who allow their bigness to come through, not in a power-hungry or power-over way, but in a fully alive way. In a way that honors Truth. In a way that clarifies, that brings more aliveness, connection, pleasure and joy.

What do you desire?

I am moving to Asheville, NC soon, very soon. And living in Bardo is what it feels like sometimes - in between one world and the next. Being here now is requiring patience. As excited as I am to leave, and as sad as I am to leave, I must be with it all, feel it all. Patience to be with the discomfort, to be with the unknown. Unknown of how I'm going to pay for it all. Discomfort of letting go. Letting go of lovers, friends, and clients. Letting go of furniture. Discomfort of driving across country with a cat in my lap. Wait, that actually sounds amusing... I think I'll be ok. As I cry, alone in my car full of stuff, grieving the end of a lifetime, on to something new. I've never done this before. I'm a Colorado native, been here my whole life. Packing up and moving across country... a new lifetime. I'll be ok. 

Patience, Dear One. Be with it all.
​You are capable. You are safe. You are held. 

Follow the whispers of your body,
They will show you how to live. 
(Note to self)

Unicorns are majestic, magical creatures with sensitive nervous systems. They require a different kind of presence than the average person. To touch a Unicorn requires one to be aware of the energetic presence of pure Love and Divine Beauty. Can you sense this energy now? Tap in.

Notice your body in this moment. And your breath. Notice the palms of your hands, and your seat. Can you sense the presence of pure Love within you? A Unicorn may be scared away if you’re too clingy, so you must be grounded and centered in yourself, and connected to a higher power, before reaching out to touch it.

Now energetically ask this Unicorn, how would you like to be touched? Since it doesn’t speak the way you speak to humans, and it’s a magical creature, it could give you an answer in a myriad of ways. You may hear a voice in your head, or see an image, or be drawn to where they want to be touched, or feel a sensation in your body, or see them physically or visually indicate something on their body.

But wait! Is it obvious yet how it would like to be touched? Do you feel a clear magnetic pull drawing you in? Unless the signal is clear, you may need more information. Continuing to be grounded and centered in yourself, you could ask the Unicorn, where would you like me to be? Not only are Unicorns physically sensitive, but also energetically sensitive - there’s a difference between holding a spacious awareness of their whole body vs. focusing on one particular spot. They’ll notice this difference. AND there’s a difference between those two and holding a spacious awareness of the space around you, including the space behind you, the space of Earth, and the space of the Universe. Some Unicorns may LOVE all this space, and some may actually appreciate direct, focused attention, closer in to their body.

Are you following me? Unicorns are SO sensitive that they are aware of where your attention is, and as each one is different, and each day is different, it’s very important to clarify each time you come into contact with a Unicorn, where do they feel the most ease? With a wide spacious or more tightly contained degree of focus? And from that energetic resonance, how would they like to be touched?

This is just the start.

Saturday is National Unicorn Day

Saturday is also the first day I’ll be facilitating a 3-hour class on How to Touch and How to Be Touched. Click here for more details and to register.

To prepare, you might want to watch the movie The Unicorn Store. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

What if there was nothing wrong with you, nothing to fix? Already, as you are in this moment, nothing that you're feeling, doing, experiencing is wrong. All of it has its place, all of it can speak...

I've made myself wrong A LOT. Anyone else? It's an interesting edge between self-improvement because it's fun and natural, and self-improvement because I'm trying to get approval and love from others so I feel less alone, so I feel safe, so I feel at home. Can you relate?

If there was nothing to fix, you might continue doing exactly what you're currently doing, but it might feel more easeful. If I have nothing in me to fix, I feel more alive, turned on, joyful. I follow my body more easily when my mind isn't trying to figure out how to make something better.

The intuitive, integrative bodywork, energy healing and art I offer has shifted from a fix-it framework to an exploratory, "let's see what's here and what wants to be revealed" framework. If that sounds fun to you, let's talk!

A custom painting in progress, on my super high-tech easel.

Hi, I'm Erin, and I'm an empath. Sensorial psychic. Clairsentient. I can be walking past a stranger with my eyes down, not seeing or cognitively knowing anything about this being, but my body knows. I instantly have a hit into what they're feeling, and they may not even be aware of what they're feeling (I spent years not knowing what I was feeling - I was numb... more on that another time).

Sometimes I'm aware that I'm taking on other people's stuff, sometimes I realize it much later. Sometimes I can let it go immediately, sometimes I hold on to it for years.
Can you relate?
What will it take to let it go immediately? What will it take to release attachments to pain, trauma, suffering? To let go of carrying other people's baggage?
What will it take to be in the flow?


Repeat after me:
1. I am not responsible for other people's trauma and baggage.
 2. I am at choice of what to do with the awareness that I have.
 3. What feels in the flow now?


Maybe it's time to actually feel all the feels... No? Ok, go for a walk. Cut your hair. Dance...
What feels true to you right now?




Ground.
Feel. Your. Ground.
Now.


Center.
Ground.


How? Look around you. Notice what lights you up. Right now as I write, the birds sound lovely to me. So I feel my body as I listen to their song. More space opens up. What is heavy or not true to me lifts.


What is your ground? I can give you a million and one ways to find this in yourself (I might be exaggerating, but now I like the challenge to come up with that many...), but what do YOU know about grounding right now in this moment?


Find your truth. Find your ground.